This is my wardrobe:
1. 1,000 Pairs of Jeans
2. 1,000,000,000 Cardigans
3. 10,000 Hand-Me-Down T-Shirts from my husband
4. 5,000 Pairs of Sweats, Leggings and Sweat Shorts (combined)
5. 4 Blouses
Would it be an understatement to say “Zoiks”?
I have a problem choosing tops. Ye Olde Waist and Mammaries have expanded tremendously since having children, so I get confused about what to wear up there. When I was younger, I could slap on any old thing – tight, lose, cropped, boxy, whatevs! – and it would look great! Now? Well, I wore a very blousy, boxy, au courant top several months ago and someone was taking pictures. I saw those pictures.
I repeat: “Zoiks.”
Alas, I went from “Athletic” to “Apple” in a span of two children, but have been in denial about it. I don’t intend on remaining fruit shaped, but while I am here, can’t I, perhaps, enjoy doing the “Candied Apple” thing versus the “Great, Big, Burly Tent” thing?
I think I know the answer to that question.
Anyway, if you’re apple-y (or do we prefer muffin top-y?), let’s consider these options for ourselves and quit trying to hide! V-necks, U-necks, wrap arounds, ruching, empire waists – they are all our friends! Anything to create a waist line, break up that middle and draw their eyes elsewhere!
And if all else fails, GIRDLE dem loins!!!
Hey fellow apple! Do you want a little more info on how to dress your shape? Try these links!