Life Stories

If My Kid Had A Twitter Account

My son is getting smart. Way smart. His 3-year-old vocab skillz really allow him to get his point across clearly, whether I like it or not. The things he says usually fall into two categories:

1. Where’d he learn to say that?!

-OR-

2. Oh crap, I need to watch what I say… Oh crap, I just said “crap”…

For the most part, he’s hilarious and entertaining. He cracks me up when he expresses his opinion – there is no changing his mind. But with all of his Baby Wisdom, I sometimes wonder what he would write if he had his own Twitter account?

CheekyMonkey
@ChkMnky Las Vegas, Nevada

I wish my Mommy and my Daddy ‘top kissing! #toomuchpda

I know my Mommy mad at me. She talk very, very YOUD. #madmommies

I don’t know why my Mommy tell me I don’t say “no” when SHE always say “no”!

My Mommy very nice today. She let me eat crackers aaall daaay looong.

Last night I sit on my Big Boy Toilet. I tell Mommy get my computer so I be like Daddy.

I cry so hard because my Mommy no buy me toy at store. I no yike her.

My Daddy butt-butt make a fart and it go on my toys! I so mad! #grossdaddies

What kind of things do you think your little ones would say? Or, if your kids are old enough and already have access to social media, what have they said that cracked you up?

11 thoughts on “If My Kid Had A Twitter Account”

  1. No kids here, but the kids I nanny for every so often would say:- Can Sonia take me to the movies- Can Sonia spend the night- Sonia is 7 years old because she likes to play barbies with me.- Why aren't all toys free?- If I saw it on TV it's mine, mom go and get it!

  2. @Jade: In all honesty, I hope he NEVER gets on Twitter! LOL! There's no telling what kind of things he'll say – or what kind of Mommy Tales he'll have to embarrass me with! ;-)

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