Yesterday was hectic, to say the least. Paying bills, dealing with a hysterical baby, laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping – I was on the verge of a Calgon moment, but held it together. On a normal day, this kind of To-Do list wouldn’t have me feeling like I was lobotomized like Jessica Lange in the movie “Frances”, but yesterday was just that kind of funky day.
I was handling myself pretty nicely all day long, but somewhere between feeding my son his dinner and washing him up, my Meltdown Button was pressed. I stood at the sink in the kitchen and used up all my strength to say to my husband in a calm voice, “I. NEED. A. BREAK.” Yes. It was an ‘all caps’ moment.
I handed the baby over to my husband, climbed over the baby gate, and headed straight for the only room in our house with a lock: the bathroom.
I sat on that toilet seat and cried. I just let it go – my fatigue, stress, worries, frustrations. I tell you, I needed that cry in a bad way. I can usually get it out by watching a super sad movie, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to get that into my schedule. I think I had a sort of ‘crying build up’.
During my little episode, my boy kept beating on the door for me to come out. Then, my husband kept coming by to make sure I was okay. But that irritated me more, and every time he’d come around, I raised my voice, “Can’t I get a break?!”
Of course, midway through my crying, I realized that I was having a serious pity party, so I pulled myself together and instead, used my time wisely by giving myself a mini manicure. Then, when I was done with that, I sat there quietly and read a magazine.
I need a vacation.