Mom Life

Super Woman Doesn’t Exist (And If She Did, She’d Still Need Help)

I’ve had videos of my baby boy on repeat all weekend long. I can’t help myself; my kid’s cuteness is like a hypnotist’s wheel, and I can’t tear my eyes away from the screen! Watching these videos, though, I’m having some pretty intense feelings of pride (self-explanatory) and deep sadness… Wait. Sadness?

Let me explain: I have slowly come to realize that I wasn’t fully present in the early months of my baby’s life. I managed to be there to take care of him, but not be there, you know? I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t even remember making these early videos of him. It hurts my heart and my head trying to remember these moments, and finding I can’t.

I was just too overwhelmed to really enjoy anything during that time. I was either frustrated with how slowly my body was healing, mad about being sweaty all the time, or crying for no good reason in the bathroom (thanks, hormones!). On top of all that, I had this sick idea that I had to be Super Woman – even though I just gave birth and needed to rest and heal!

As soon as I got home from the hospital, I thought it was a requirement for me to do it all – clean house, do laundry, cook, heal my body, AND take care of my baby. Mom’s can do it all, regardless of circumstances, right? I was scared. If I didn’t do all these things would I just be confirming to myself that I was a complete and utter failure? Someone made a big mistake making me a mom!

Thinking about that time makes me want to breathe into a paper bag.

Oh well. I ended up being a failure in my attempt to live life as Super Woman – that didn’t take very long – but I’m more than okay with it. It taught me some very important things along the way:

1.) I can’t do it all
2.) I shouldn’t do it all
3.) There’s no shame in accepting help, especially when you’ve just given birth
4.) You can never have too many pictures or videos of your kids

And now I can toot my own horn, and honestly say I don’t think I’m doing a half bad job at being a mom. I can’t say the same about the housework.

You don't have to be Super Woman to be a Super Mom

16 thoughts on “Super Woman Doesn’t Exist (And If She Did, She’d Still Need Help)”

  1. I still can't finish my daughter's first year scrapbook…and she's 14. Every time I try, I start bawling because I can't even remember that time. Why do we beat ourselves up like this???? I should be so happy I even have all those photos. Go hug that baby and be nice to you…you are a great mommy!!!:-)

  2. Uhhh…yeah. My oldest is in school and my youngest is almost 2. I still don't manage to squeeze in housework. Don't beat yourself up – that's not the reason you stay home!

  3. I was the same way, I worried I wasn't the best wife the best mom, and just cried for days. Now… I've learned, super woman is a myth. And Wonder Moms Do exists!We Mommies are the true heroes!

  4. You're right! No such thing as Superwoman. It's difficult trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. I shucked that philosophy a long time ago and I'm much happier marching to the beat of my own drum these days.

  5. I keep trying to get this point across to my friend who is a first time mom with twin boys. I'm afraid that she is missing out on all the good things while worrying about doing everything and doing it all in a way that no one can be critical. I don't know who put these ideas in her head or why she cares. And she never asks for help. Yup – sounds like she too is suffering from Super Woman syndrome.

  6. You toot that horn girl! Motherhood is hard. Sometimes our experiences are so similar. After Scooter (my 2nd) was born I was a mess. Potter (my 1st) was a preemie, and he still had issues. Scooter had colic and cried constantly. Hubby worked over an hour away. I didn't want to get out of bed. Luckily, after talking to my Dr. he realized it was post-partum. I wish I had taken a video. So hold onto that gem of a memory. I know I'm cross country, but it looks to me like you're doing a pretty good job. I'm sure Monkey would agree.

  7. Hi Jennifer! I think many of us go through that w/ our first. We feel we need to prove we can still do the same things even w/ a new baby. It is very humbling to ask for help, but it's such a blessing to get it!!!

  8. I know what you mean.. I always said that with the next one that I would just take it easy, spend as much time in bed resting with the baby etc… let the house fall on someone else's shoulders for a while. but…. life never seems to work out way. Either there are always work crisis for the hub or you just plain ol feel guilty disappearing to rest and leaving them with the rest of the kids. and sick days… I once had to beg my mother to come over for a couple of hours and look after but otherwise, mothers are pretty much on their own. Reality is you probably did a much better job coping than you think. New motherhood is always overwhelming but we all do the best we can.

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