My baby boy is growing up so fast! It makes me sad to think about my baby becoming a big boy so soon, but it also got me thinking about all the great memories we’ve made so far. Including childbirth.
Fun Fact: While I was pregnant, I thought I would be that woman who could easily ignore the pains of childbirth.
!!! HAHAHAAAAAHOOOOOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEEEEEHAAAAHAHAHAHA !!!
I did everything I could to lessen the pain. I walked around my room. I grunted out loud. I squatted on the floor. By the time I got to the last three centimeters, I didn’t care what I looked like, what I said, or who saw me and my ripening lady parts. All I could do was cry out to my husband, “I caaan’t do this, baaabe! I want to go hooome! Should I get the epidural? SHOULD I???”
I will go natural, again, for the next baby. Insanity.
Top Ten Things I Thought, Said and Experienced During Childbirth
- Losing all my shame
- Childbirth is really hard. And it really hurts.
- Finding out what REAL begging is like
- Who told me contractions just feel like really bad period cramps? I want them dead.
- To my poor husband: “Stop talking to me. I don’t want to hear your voice.”
- I don’t want to push anymore. Why aren’t they offering me a C-Section?
- Tearing past my episiotomy. Did you hear me? I TORE PAST MY EPISIOTOMY.
- To the doctor: “Please, just get him ooouuuttt!”
- Pooing during labor (Yeah, it happens, childless women!)
- Hemorrhoids (a.k.a. The Painful, Throbbing Goose Egg)
I love memes. Wait, you too? WE’RE TWINS! Why not take a break and play Top Ten, then? If you blog, grab my button, choose your Top Ten topic (you can use mine!), post it on your blog, and leave your link in the comments below. If you don’t blog, play along by leaving your list in the comments, too!