I dropped the nail cutter in the toilet bowl.
And I had to stick my hand in the water to get it.
I clean that toilet bowl, I do. And I’m the only one who uses it, so I know what’s been going on in there. I cleaned it some days ago, so it’s not all skuzzy, but I feel so slimy and dirty right now. I washed my hands a million times with soap, and water so hot, I’m about to start developing blisters. I also put some germ killing spray from the tips of my fingers to the middle of my forearm. I still feel disgusting.
If you’re curious, I was cutting my toe nails over the toilet bowl. You see, I’m lazy, and I hate to collect all of my nail clippings. Several years ago, I was thinking of a way to clean after myself and still stay lazy – and I thought that if I cut my toe nails over the bowl, I could just flush it down when I’m done! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the nail cutter would fall into the bowl. A possibility? Sure. But to actually happen? I just feel so gross.
The Top Ten Grossest Things I’ve Experienced
- Postpartum locchia, nasty as it wants to be
- My first postpartum poop *sniffle*
- Accidentally hearing someone do a Jackson Pollock impersonation in the bathroom
- A 1 ½ inch cockroach flew into the kitchen of my very first apartment. In its attempt to escape, it kept trying to fly into my kitchen’s fluorescent light, making a sound like pebbles hitting glass (cringing)
- When I was in junior high, a boy I had a crush on came to my desk and flirted with me. I flirted back by telling him a joke. Apparently, he had a cold because when he laughed, he blew a neon green booger bubble out of his left nostril
- Sticking my hand in the toilet bowl tonight
- One summer in a rest area bathroom, a huge, green flying bug started buzzing and flying around in my face and hair. I stood there in the stall like some sissy girl, waving my hands at the sides of my head, screaming my head off. My mom was not happy with me
- In high school, during a pep rally, some senior classmen did a skit. At one point, they all put various kinds of liquid/food into their mouths, chewed it up or swished it around, then spit it out into a single jar. The last guy of the group drank the concoction…
- A boyfriend I had my first year of college
- Every single, unfortunate doggy doody disaster. Especially one involving white carpet
And after that list, I need soak in a cleansing chemical bath.
I love memes. Wait, you too? WE’RE TWINS! Why not take a break and play Top Ten, then? If you blog, grab my button, choose your Top Ten topic (you can use mine!), post it on your blog, and leave your link in the comments below. If you don’t blog, play along by leaving your list in the comments, too!